Withnail: Then why has my head gone numb? Withnail: Ive told you why. I recommend you smoke some more grass. Marwood: Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity! Sons are the anchors of a mother's life. Marwood: I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering, and have come in here with the express intention of wishing one upon you. I happened to be looking for a suit for the Coalman two weeks ago. Withnail: In fact, he'd probably tell you what he was going to do before he did it. You bloody fool, you should never mix your drinks! You're simply blackmailing your emotions to avoid the realities of your relationship with him. Well, lick 10 percent of the arses for me, then! Them pheasants are for his pot. Look at my tongue, it's wearing a yellow sock. Yes, as a matter of fact I have. So, there's this judge sitting there in a cape like fucking Batman with this really rather far-out looking hat. Withnail: Withnail & I (1987) - Ruthless Reviews Little tarts, they love it! Monty: Withnail: I think we've been in here too long. Those are the kind of windows faces look in at. We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them here and we want them now! As a youth I used to weep in butcher's shops. Marwood: [Contemplating how to kill a chicken for supper] It's got dreadful beady eyes, they stare at you. Withnail: Stop saying that! I think there may be something living in there, I think there may be something alive. Here hare here!" Bruce Robinson, Withnail and I: the Original Screenplay. And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. Withnail: Top 65 Best Nikola Tesla Quotes On Energy & Success 2023, Top 70 Bengals Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 68 March Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 57 Airplane Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 65 Philippine Literature Quiz Trivia Questions And Answers, Top 62 Chemistry Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 63 Biology Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023. Withnail: Free to those that can afford it, very expensive to those that can't. He can eat his ****ing radish. You been away? [eyes filling with tears] Withnail: I took drugs to win medals says top athlete Geoff Woade.". It's impossible, I swear it. Withnail: You mean we've come out here in the middle of f***ing nowhere without aspirins? Hello? What on Earth are those? How infinite in faculties! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculties! Withnail: The beauty of the world. The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. I know you're not asleep, boy. Before I became a journalist I was in the Territorials. Nor women neither. Man delights not me, no, nor women neither. Throwing themselves into the road gladly to escape all this hideousness! Get into the countryside. If I lay 10 mils of diazepam on you, it will do something else to your brain. Withnail: Weve gone on holiday by mistake. [voiceover] This *is* the morning. Marwood: Stop saying that, Withnail, of course he's the f***ing farmer! All right, this is the plan. He had a weight under his fez. Imagine getting into a fight with the fucker! Withnail: The thermostats! The older order changeth, yielding place to new. I couldn't, I'm spaced. They're throwing themselves into the road gladly! Withnail hands Marwood the bag of shopping and jumps over the wall to safety. [holding up a Fairy Liquid bottle with a strap and a tube]. Offer him yourself. Withnail: Marwood: Marwood: move forward or backward to get to the perfect spot. Keep back, keep back! Monty: Forgive me, it was inconsiderate of me not to have telegrammed. Marwood: I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine. You know, farmers, travelling tinkers, milkmen, that sort of thing. Marwood: Marwood: Withnail: Marwood: You never discuss your family, do you? There can be no true beauty without decay. This pill's valued at two quid. Withnail: Good old Jake. Get any more masculine than him and you'd have to live up a tree. So here we are gonna talk about some of thebest quotes from the movie. Withnail: Because if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. Withnail: I fail to see my familys of any interest to you. Uncle Monty: (referring to his cat) Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day! I been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. Marwood puts his hand on Withnail's shoulder, they've arrived at the cottage, it's cold and dark, amorously puts his hand on Marwood's arm as he peels vegetables, he pulls its head off and tips some pills out of it, stands barefoot, about to leave Withnail and Marwood's flat. This most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave oerhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. It is a bond filled with trust, unconditional love, understanding, and support. *What are you doing prowling around in the middle of the fucking night*? Withnail: Scrubbers! Withnail: Now, what makes you think I should give you something for your pot? Bit early in the morning for festivities, isn't it? Hairs are your aerials. The only programme I'm likely to get on is the f***ing news. You are invited to spend an hilarious weekend in the English countryside. Quotes.net. I must be out of my mind. Danny: Relax, man, find your neutral space. You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you're doing it! This suit was cut by Hawke's of Savile Row! Maybe he f***s arses! Stand aside! We're coming back in here. [pulling a pheasant out of his coat] He told me about your arrest in the Tottenham Court Road. What have you done to them? Withnail: He says he won't come in for lunch without an apology. Withnail: Go with it. "I'm going to pull your head off, because I don't like your head.". I was merely making an observation. Best 25 Withnail And I Quotes By Bruce Robinson 2023 I tell you, I've a f*** sight more talent than half the rubbish that gets on television. Monty: Here hare here! And I'm sitting in this bloody shack and I can't cope with Withnail. Danny: Danny: Uncle Monty: Oh! Throwing themselves into the road gladly to escape all this hideousness. You don't deserve such loyalty. Me? What's in your hump? Withnail: The thermostats. Withnail: (Wry smile) Sorry about that. [as Marwood walks past him] Withnail: It's like Greenland in here. Withnail: All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Marwood: Look at Geoff Woade! St Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. Dealt with them? If my father was loaded I'd ask him for some money. let him get his drugs out! [approaching the pub] Uncle Monty: I can never touch raw meat until it's cooked. Marwood: How noble in reason! Withnail: I had to come. What are you doing up here, then? I might fetch you up a rabbit. Because if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. I happen to be the proprietor. Withnail: Marwood: Dosed 'em. Monty: Cooking's one of the natural instincts. ""Here. you little traitors. Withnail And I - Wikipedia en.m.wikipedia.org. This was more like a long white hat. Isaac Parkin: Hurry up, Mabs. Withnail: Withnail: The only programme I'm likely to get on is the f***ing news! In this case, it most certainly would not. So, he looks at the Coalman and says "What's all this? This may be the reason bald-headed men are uptight. Danny: I've already put two shilling pieces in. It's society's crime, not ours. And we want them here, and we want them now! "GET IN THE BACK OF THE VAN!" "I feel like a pig shat in my head." "Don't threaten me with a dead fish." "A coward you are, Withnail. I ain't got no pheasants, ain't got no birds. Marwood: Well, that can't be sensible, can it? He can eat his fucking radish. Will we never be set free? Withnail: (Paraphrasing Hamlet) I have of late but wherefore I know not lost all my mirth and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy, the air look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors. Withnail: Look at this; accident blackspot? Withnail: [Marwood knocks on the door of a farmhouse. Withnail: There can be no true beauty without decay. [voiceover] Speed, is like a dozen transatlantic flights without ever getting off the plane Time change. He can eat his ****ing radish. I will say one thing for Monty, he keeps a sensational cellar. Have you either of you got shoes? Withnail and I Quotes This is me, naked in a corner! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Danny: Withnail: Marwood: Danny: Danny: Withnail: Eggs and things. [after having entirely covered himself in muscle embrocation to keep warm] Withnail: Listen, we're bona fide, we're not from London. Uncle Monty: Here hare here here hare here! tags: humour, withnail-i. Withnail: Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. Indeed, I remember my first agent. [after a phone call with his agent] I demand to have some booze! I think it's time to release you from the lgumes, and transfer your talents to the meat. Withnail: Withnail: I could take double anything you could! Headhunter to everyone. Marwood: (Voice-over) Speed is like a dozen transatlantic flights without ever getting off the plane. What makes you possibly think I've got anything for your pot? And how dare you tell him I love you?! The only thing youre in that Ive been in is this ****ing bath! Yeah, I know that, you've got to kill it. What are you talking about, Danny? Marwood: You know what we should do? Withnail And I GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY [a few minutes later, Withnail re-enters the cottage holding a wet stick]. DRIVE WITH EXTREME CARE", shouts out of the car window at a man standing on the pavement, Withnail and Marwood are lying in bed together, listening to a man coming inside the cottage. He leans up close to her, speaking into to her hearing aid]. Suits me. [sticking out his yellowy tongue] Withnail: [voiceover] Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. Withnail: Why have you drugged their onions?! Monty, Monty! It's too hot so he drops it]. I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. Marwood: Withnail: No you can't, I can't get my boots on when they're hot. It's you he wants. I've only had a few ales. We can't go on like this. Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). How infinite in faculties! If you're hanging onto a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision. Withnail: Were incompatible. Withnail. Here.". Withnail: Where is he? It's ridiculous. Jake: This ain't fancy dress." They can handle the kaftan, they can't handle the bell. That's what you'd say, but that wouldn't wash with Geoff. [shouting at his cat] Danny: We are not drunks, we are multi-millionaires! I'm getting the *fear*! Jake: Listen, we're bona fide. [wakes up in the back seat of the car, which is moving along the motorway] 'S alright, 's alright, s'alright We're going, our car has arrived! YARN | "Here hare, here." | Withnail & I (1987) | Video clips by quotes Monty: Withnail: These are the best withnail and I quotes. It will pass. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Withnail And I. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. At some point or another I want to stop and get hold of a child. Murder and All-Bran and rape. share. You'll have to find us first. Withnail hands Marwood the bag of shopping and jumps over the wall to safety. This most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors! Wait till the morning, we'll go in together. Withnail: It'll pass. Im in a park and Im practically dead. I was gonna cook onions. Marwood: Withnail: We worked out it would be handy karma for him to get hold of a suit but he's a very low temperature spade, the Coalman. You merely imagined it. Danny: Quite freaked me at the time. Didn't you hear? Let him get his drugs out. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Withnail: Then stick it in the soap tray and save it for later. Marwood: (Voice-over) Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day, and for once I'm inclined to believe Withnail is right. If I hadn't told him you were active we'd never have got the cottage. Marwood: We are not drunks, we are multi-millionaires! [clearly drunk] I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. My partner's got a really good idea for making dolls. Withnail: Amazon.com: Customer reviews: Gold, Guns and God: Swami Bhaktipada and Marwood: The carrot has mystery. Monty: You lose, you gain Makes no difference so long as you keep taking the pills. There can be no true beauty without decay. Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! Why don't I get any soup? I think an evening at The Crow. Have another look in that shed. He winces as he stretches his leg]. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. All right here? One of us has got to stay on guard. Because I don't advise it. Withnail: I feel like a pig shat in my head! We've got to get some booze. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Withnail: What have you done to them? . Monty: [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch]. Having said that, I now intend to leave for London. Withnail and I : r/movies - reddit.com And that's why you mustn't hold back, let it ruin your youth as I nearly did over Eric. This is a court, man. Monty: We want to get in there, don't we? Quotes.net. Marwood: [Withnail's lonely, aging homosexual uncle Monty has gone home, leaving a note humbly apologising for the desperate sexual advances he made on Marwood the night before]. Withnail & I (1987) - Quotes - IMDb Richard E. Grant Is Making Self-Isolation Fun With Classic 'Withnail www.bbcamerica.com. The paragon of animals. You need working on, boy! Well, it's not my fault if the system doesn't work! Marwood : No, no, you can't. It's impossible, I swear it. [lunges towards the sink] Danny: Marwood: Making an enemy of our own future. I mean look at us! Two out-of-work actors -- the anxious, luckless Marwood and his acerbic, alcoholic friend, Withnail -- spend their days drifting between their squalid flat, the unemployment office and the pub. Monty: Listen, Withnail, it's a stinker. I'd never have wanted it, not with him in it! I do. Of course he's the fucking farmer! It takes away your appetite just looking at it. Withnail: I could take double anything you could! Oh God, it's a nightmare, I tell you, it's a nightmare. Marwood: He wants to get down there and have sex with those cows.

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